Club409
The best damn waste of time!
WWJBD
Drew
Total posts: 5115
12/8/2005 9:52 AM
Jack Bauer would apologize saying "I'm sorry ma'am but if you'll come with me I can get you some gloves." He would then take her out back handcuff her to the dumpster and point his gun at her. He recognized her fingerprints as a grandmother of Pedro Barishnikov a dirty employee at the Fulton County DOT. Using his camera phone he contacts Barishnikov and tells him that if he does not fix the street and get rid of the metal plates under the bridge on Northside Dr Jack will kill his grandmother. Asphalt is laid within the hour.
WWJBD when he notices one of the asphalt trucks falls out of formation and heads off to some unknown destination?
WWJBD when he notices one of the asphalt trucks falls out of formation and heads off to some unknown destination?
SmoovB
Total posts: 1097
12/8/2005 10:13 AM
Against his better judgement and lacking any immediate backup Jack dives headlong into the payload of the truck. The hot sticky asphalt reminds him of that night he spent in Kosovo nestled safely in the fragrant entrails of a fallen police horse.
Drew
Total posts: 5115
12/8/2005 10:33 AM
Fortunately due to his time undercover at Rachel's house Jack has a high tolerance for horse entrails. While inside the horse he realizes that he needs a pressing time-critical plot device to maintain an effective level of drama. He calls West Campus CTU and asks what's up. He asks for Kristine because he knows that she's clean. She's not there.
WWJBD when he finds out his plan to let West Campus CTU get attacked in order to track Arif to the people he works for is thwarted by two rookie agents?
Edit: Sometimes it really hits home you know?
WWJBD when he finds out his plan to let West Campus CTU get attacked in order to track Arif to the people he works for is thwarted by two rookie agents?
Edit: Sometimes it really hits home you know?
mwinter
Total posts: 4328
12/8/2005 11:51 AM
Jack dons a durka and goes deep undercover. He gets Edgar to extrapolate the location of the Toilet Terrorist Cell (TTC) hideout. Edgar informs him that the most likely location is one of two places: either The Tabernacle on Luckie or the Days Inn on Northside. Jack makes his way to the first target where he strikes down seven shifty bums that approach his black navigator a little too energetically. When he makes it inside The Tabernacle all he finds is an old blind man playing pachinko.
WWJBD when the old man flips the pachinko board around to reveal a remote detonation device?
WWJBD when the old man flips the pachinko board around to reveal a remote detonation device?
acelxix
Total posts: 2398
1/4/2006 6:58 PM
WWJBD if Manawar had hired Vince Young to steal the "football" from AF-1?
mwinter
Total posts: 4328
1/5/2006 2:12 AM
As Vince Young rushes for 6000 yards straight off the plane Jack commissions MacGuyver to build a flying device out of a ceiling fan and a washing machine; he tells him it's to save an orphanage of handicapable kids. Once MacGuyver finishes the build Bauer spanks him in a pressure point on his face and says "nobody saves retards on my watch." He then takes the airship into the desert to search for Young.
WWJBD when he realizes MacGuyver built the machine to run on the blood of the innocent?
WWJBD when he realizes MacGuyver built the machine to run on the blood of the innocent?
SmoovB
Total posts: 1097
1/5/2006 2:55 AM
Jack knows there's only one thing to do. He calls his good friend Leslie Caldwell the former lead prosecutor in the Enron taskforce.
"Les it's Jack."
"Hey Jack it's been a long --"
"Les I don't have much time. I'm calling for a very specific reason. The reason that we asked you to step down. The reason for your 'private practice.' "
There is a pause filled only the sound of breathing. It's really only noticeable because of Jack's deviated septum recieved during his stint on the LA SWAT team.
"Jack the List isn't ready. I've only had a couple weeks I never thought you'd be calling this early."
"Les I need the List. I need the blood of the innocent."
What most people will never know will never even suspect is that Leslie Caldwell has been collecting names the names of every crooked executive who's ever walked away from an investigation. He's catalogued these names throughout his career and he left the Justice department for the express purpose of preparing that list for use. Les faxes the List to Jack.
WWJBD when he sees the first name on the list is none other than Colonel Sanders thought dead since 1980?
"Les it's Jack."
"Hey Jack it's been a long --"
"Les I don't have much time. I'm calling for a very specific reason. The reason that we asked you to step down. The reason for your 'private practice.' "
There is a pause filled only the sound of breathing. It's really only noticeable because of Jack's deviated septum recieved during his stint on the LA SWAT team.
"Jack the List isn't ready. I've only had a couple weeks I never thought you'd be calling this early."
"Les I need the List. I need the blood of the innocent."
What most people will never know will never even suspect is that Leslie Caldwell has been collecting names the names of every crooked executive who's ever walked away from an investigation. He's catalogued these names throughout his career and he left the Justice department for the express purpose of preparing that list for use. Les faxes the List to Jack.
WWJBD when he sees the first name on the list is none other than Colonel Sanders thought dead since 1980?
Drew
Total posts: 5115
1/8/2006 4:26 PM
Jack is stopped cold. Back in 1980 Jack was second in command of a task force commissioned to sweep and clear PETA headquarters. Leading the task force is Colonel Sanders. During the raid Colonel Sanders is overwhelmed with hippie bullshit. Jack has no choice but to shoot Colonel Sanders in the goatee and get the rest of the team out of there. Jack knows what he has to do. He commandeers a small single seat airplane and flies across the country looking for an old man with no goatee peddling chickens.
WWJBD when he spots from 15000 feet a man in a white suit selling fried chickens not in Kentucky but Michigan?
WWJBD when he spots from 15000 feet a man in a white suit selling fried chickens not in Kentucky but Michigan?
ScrotalFury
Total posts: 44
1/15/2006 4:13 PM
Tonight Jack finds himself in a seedy back alley of downtown New Orleans getting pounded in the ass for a million years straight by some gnarly looking chick with a dick for taking family guy's spot this sunday.
and that's how Jack learned that he was a huge faggot that should retire to the comforting arms of the transgendered and sexually challenged
and that's how Jack learned that he was a huge faggot that should retire to the comforting arms of the transgendered and sexually challenged
Oscar
Total posts: 1323
1/16/2006 2:50 AM
pwned