if only I could talk to myself back then. (for posterity:
) what would I say? "don't be douped by the evil that is woman...their only purpose in life is to make you feel inadequate and insignificant. you're worth much more than that. find a girl that'll make you feel happy for who you are. and if you can't find her have you're parents arrange a marriage and treat that girl like she should...as though she were the most precious thing in this world." there's only one absolute truth i've come to realize in my 25 years of existence and that is that i have the capability to fully and completely loving any girl in this world. the only problem is i think i can find someone who feels the same way. i'm so foolish in my totality. the truth is i know nothing. i'm so naive in my absoluteness. all i really know that is in my current state of being i feel empty and lonely and that i want another person to help fill that void. what makes any one person more special than another? personally i like someone who appreciates the nice things that i do for them. is it really selfish to ask for someone who is thankful for the things you do for them? i don't ask for anything in return. only a genuine smile or a laugh. something to acknowledge that I made the effort to demonstrate how much I really care.
anyways i'm drunk. more insight into my ramblings tomorrow when i'm sober. my guess now is that i'll feel regret about expressing these silly feelings. but maybe this is exactly what i need to do. write down all my absurd ramblings and present them to an audience that i know and hold dear to my heart. an audience that'll judge me appropriately or simply ignore all of this bs. ya that's what will happen. it'll be ignored so what does it matter if i ramble? right? poppycock i say. poppycock.